Why does everyone always ask ME what’s for dinner? I don’t remember volunteering to be the family chef in charge of an endless variety of meals with multiple menu options.
It smells funny? Well, so do you and we still love you.
I would much rather eat cake for dinner, too, but I’m trying to set a good example here by choking down this spinach.
How should I know where your keys/glasses/wallet are? It’s hard enough to keep track of my own stuff and the kids’ stuff. I CAN tell you where Earth Ace’s space helmet is, though.
There’s no clean underwear in your drawer? Well, I guess the laundry fairy didn’t make it to your room last night. Too bad.
No, I will not read you this extraordinarily dull book about the inner workings of combine harvesters one more time. Bring me something with an actual storyline.
No, you can’t have a playdate with that kid because he’s a whiner with no manners and I don’t like his mom.
Sure, you can watch another show. Watch TV until your eyeballs pop out. I’ll be over here reading my book and drinking my coffee.
Why do you always tell ME when you need a diaper change? Your dad’s right over there, tell him.
You’re bored? Well, so am I. I can recite “Go, Dog, Go” in my sleep, playing Hide ‘n’ Seek with someone who “hides” in plain sight is in no way challenging, and I hate Candyland. So there.
I really didn’t miss you at all when your dad and I went away for the night.
I’m nervous and a little sad about you starting kindergarten, too.
I’m not sad at ALL that your little brother is starting school. (Come on: it’s barely 5 hours a week!)
You guys are WAY cuter/smarter/funnier than any other kids I know.
Even though I think mean thoughts about you sometimes, I love you to pieces.
LINK O’ THE DAY: After I wrote this I started having second thoughts that maybe it sounds too grumpy, so I’ll leave you with this list from Loulou’s Views that manages to be touching, truthful, funny, and not too sappy all at the same time: “Motherhood Is…”
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
“No, I will not read you this extraordinarily dull book about the inner workings of combine harvesters one more time. Bring me something with an actual storyline.” – I think we have the same book here and it drives me crazy!!
“Why do you always tell ME when you need a diaper change? Your dad’s right over there, tell him.”
You can say this! My sister had finally had enough and told her kids, “Look, alternate between your dad and me instead of always calling ‘Mama'” or she’d simply say, “I’m on a break.”
Not too grumpy at all. The thing I love most about your blog is that it is honest and most moms (well at least this mom) can totally relate. Motherhood is hard!
“How should I know where your keys/glasses/wallet are? It’s hard enough to keep track of my own stuff and the kids’ stuff.”
Well, Abby, you are nicer than I am, because I DO say that to my dear husband, often. It’s as though 10 years of marriage have atrophied his eyeballs to the point where he cannot find anything, ever, even if the thing he is looking for is staring him in the face. If I have to get up one more time to find him the sour cream or the ketchup (always in the same spot, honey!) I think I will scream.
I take a 50/50 approach to diaper changes–he does half (at least). I tell my kids “mommy’s on a break.”
Not too grumpy at all. We all have those moments. 🙂
You are a mind-reader. Thanks for making me laugh – I needed that!
LOL! Thank you for saying these things, I think them too 🙂
I think we all think this several times a day! It’s reassuring to read it in writing though, maybe it will give us the courage to say some of them, or something alluding to them 🙂 Sometimes I just want to say “Why do I always have to be the mom?” and then I think how ridiculous that sounds. But all of the little things that make me a mom make me feel that way, even if I don’t wish for them to be there.
P.S. Thank you for the link to Loulou’s Views about motherhood! I love what she wrote and am going to try writing my own list.
NAH! You’re not too grumpy, just laying it out there and so truthful. For all the ups and downs of parenthood, you just gotta get the grumpy thoughts out there in cyber space as a way of venting them. Soooo obvious how crazy you are about your two boys and we all enjoy the stories you tell about them and your life.
I think I linked over to LouLou’s after reading one of your posts a couple of months ago and have read her blog since. Her recap of the BlogHer convention was great and the link on Motherhood is just gold.
You are hilarious! I love reading your blog, and you just made me laugh so hard!!
I love this one: “Sure, you can watch another show. Watch TV until your eyeballs pop out. I’ll be over here reading my book and drinking my coffee.”
Oh, and this one: “I would much rather eat cake for dinner, too, but I’m trying to set a good example here by choking down this spinach.”
Thanks, all! Glad I’m not alone. 🙂
That rocked SO hard! Even if it’s grumpy it is right on par with my day. I needed this. 🙂
I literally laughed out loud… because I think them too. Somehow knowing I’m not alone is comforting. I haven’t quite figured out why it’s so hilarious to me yet. Maybe it’s just that you have to laugh to keep from crying. 🙂
I love this!
Hahaha!! I love it!!! I sometimes have to bite my tongue from saying things like this. Is that bad?