What Kind of Energy Are You Bringing?

I was at the gym, minding my own business while I did my stretching after my workout. Sometimes I pretend to stretch when really I’m just lying there enjoying my final moments of peace before I have to jump back into the fray of writing and toddler-wrangling.

As I was lying there on the mat, a woman came into the room. Her trainer was making small talk, asking her if she’d seen the Oscars the other night. The woman sighed deeply. “Ugh, they were the WORST. Was that the most boring awards show EVER? I mean, Billy Crystal was AWFUL…” She then proceeded to go on like that about her job, the weather, and politics. Her poor trainer. I had to get the heck out of there before this Negative Nellie ruined my day.

Now, I could care less if some random stranger thinks Billy Crystal sucks. Personally, I doubt there will ever be an Oscar host in history who could please everyone from A-list celebrities to disgruntled middle-aged women in Anywhere, America. But that’s beside the point. The point is: one person’s energy can change the mood of an entire room. Or online forum.

“Please be responsible for the energy you bring into this space.” Have you heard this saying before? I have. Probably from Oprah, because let’s face it, that’s where I get most of my life advice.

I’m sure every one of us can think of a person whose energy — good or bad — takes over whatever room they’re in. Whether it’s the hypercritical family member who deftly intersperses jabs at your parenting skills with bright inquiries into the state of your finances, or the upbeat husband who turns even a mundane family dinner into a party.

I’ve noticed, however, that it’s usually the Debbie Downers whose energy has the most power. Why is that? If I’m having a good day, why should I be in a bad mood just because someone else is? Why does one person’s disgust with the price of peaches at the grocery store bother me, just because I’m behind them in line? I’m not sure, but I don’t like it. Why should the negative outweigh the positive?

I am consciously becoming more aware of my moods and my energy, and the effect they have on the people around me. Partly, it’s because of my kids. Children are unbelievably accurate barometers of energy. Several times a day, I notice my 3yo peering into my face, smiling or scowling, reflecting back what he sees.

Because of this newfound awareness, I have become a person who whoops and hollers at a kid’s birthday party to overcompensate for the lackluster employees at the party venue to whom it’s just another one of many events they have to work that day. If I’m in line behind someone who reams out the post office employee for slow service, I make extra sure to be nice when it’s my turn. I crack more jokes. I smile more. I say thank-you more. I give more compliments. (Side note: this is infinitely easier with strangers than, say, my husband. Why IS that?)

If there are any Debbie Downers reading this and rolling their eyes, look: I know I’m not changing the world. But I might be changing someone’s day for the better, even the tiniest bit. And personally, I would rather be the type of person who gives off good energy, rather than infecting people’s souls with toxic negativity. But, hey, it’s your call! I’ll be over there, spreading rainbows and sunshine with my kids. And Billy Crystal.

READ O’ THE DAY: On my new favorite website, Just Be Enough, Kir dares us to be ridiculous and laugh loudly. I’m in!