I never thought I’d say it, but I miss babies. I don’t WANT another baby, thankyouverymuch, but I recently got to hold a newborn and man, was he cute. And also, calm. He snoozed away in his swaddle blanket like a tiny, snoring burrito, oblivious to all the craziness around him. (Like my kids.) I have not forgotten the physical and mental exhaustion of having a newborn. But there’s no denying that babies are challenging in different ways than older kids.
For instance, babies can’t scream and spit at you, trash their room and then pass out on the floor when you try to make them take a nap, or at least spend 45 min. of “quiet time” in their room so Mommy can return emails in peace.
Babies also can’t emotionally devastate you like my kindergartener did at “Muffins with Mommy” a couple weeks ago. For this event, I had to shower, put on real shoes and earrings, and be at his school at the ungodly hour of 8am so that he could present me with a book and a colorful beaded necklace he’d made for me.
Then I squeezed onto a tiny chair and made small talk with the other moms while sipping a Dixie cup of lukewarm juice. After about 10 min of this, Miles turned to me and said, “Mom, you can leave now.” Alrighty then.
As I did the walk of shame past the moms who had NOT been coldly dismissed, part of me thought, “I put on makeup for THIS?!” while another part of me thought, “Hells YEAH, I’m going to treat myself to a Starbucks latte to try to fill the gaping hole where my firstborn child just stabbed me through the heart!”
But seriously, I was not completely devastated. I even thought it was kind of funny. (Unlike Miles’ pegging my age at 98 in his Mommy & Me book. 98!!) As my husband pointed out, Miles has his school routine. It’s his thing, and he doesn’t want Mommy cramping his style. It would be kind of like if my husband tagged along with me to a blog conference. “Thanks, sweetie, but you can go hit the hotel gym now while I talk Google Ad words and Twitter with my peeps.”
So if you’ve got little ones, enjoy them now while they don’t talk back and push you away. And if you need someone to hold the baby for you, I’m your girl. At 98 years old, I’ve got a lot of experience.
NEWS O’ THE DAY: Today I am featured over at Christina Katz’s blog, The Prosperous Writer, as part of the Writer Mama Every-Day-In-May Book Giveaway. For a chance to win my book today and books by other mom authors all month long, come on over to http://christinakatz.com and answer a daily question about your writing process. Hope you will swing by and participate to win! There are lots of interesting books up for grabs.
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My 9 1/2yo talks back to me already (in the form of screaming baby gibberish) and punches me in the face when I ask him for kisses. It has begun really early in my house.
Uh oh. You’re in trouble. 😉
I totally miss having a baby. Mine are 3 & 5. I want another but since my wife doesn’t….
That reminds me of an episode of “Up All Night” I re-watched last night, where Will Arnett tries to convince his wife to have another baby: http://www.nbc.com/up-all-night/video/baby-fever/1390919/
I love how your write ‘funny’ about being a mommy. Believe me, that takes skill! As always, enjoyed reading your post (and smiling…).
Thanks for being such a loyal and enthusiastic reader, Pamela. 🙂
I taught preschool for 5 years and now I’m pregnant with my first (a boy). I’m fully prepared to have my heart broken, repeatedly, as it has never been broken before…
Being prepared is half the battle. Congrats!
I miss having a baby!! Mine are getting older now!
I still miss having a baby…
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