Ready for another episode of “Extreme Juggling: Work-at-Home Mom Edition”? Well, grab your cup of twice-reheated coffee and let’s get started! First, the phone rings with a promising assignment from a new client. Great! It would’ve have been even better had it come a couple weeks ago before preschool let out, but what can you do? I line up the sitter and get to work.
The client calls back: could I possibly take on a few more assignments that they need done? And, oh, BTW, the deadline’s tight on these ones. For what they’re paying me? Sure thing!
Hmm, I see this one requires phone interviews. It’s been a while since I’ve done one of those (see this post, “Plan F,” for why), so my recording equipment’s out of date. My Radio Shack device only works on old-fashioned phones with actual cords. Remember those? A quick email to a colleague reveals that there’s a wireless version. Off to Radio Shack I go.
Turns out that model has been discontinued. And they don’t make anything similar. What’s up with that? Off to Staples I go. Nothing there, either. A discussion with 3 different tech dudes at Staples convinces me that maybe the technology has changed such that I no longer need a separate digital recorder. Maybe I can record directly onto my PC. Back home to research this I go.
An hour later… So let me get this straight: Google Voice allows you to record INCOMING calls, but not OUTGOING calls? There is a recorder app for the iPhone, but you have to pay extra for recording time. Besides, I don’t have an iPhone. The Android app looks sketchy and complicated, and seems to be the equivalent of putting a cellphone call on speaker and holding up a recorder. I have quality concerns, let’s just say.
And Skype? Are you KIDDING me?! The whole point of being a freelancer is that you can work in sweats and no makeup from your messy house without having to see anyone in person. Plus, I’m thinking the busy surgeons I need to interview will not have time to mess around with complicated technology.
By this time, I have to go pick up the toddler from the sitter. Just as I’m putting him down for his nap, an interviewee emails me to let me know she’s available. I call her, and she says she’ll call me back in 10 min. AN HOUR LATER she calls back, just as my 3yo wakes up from his nap and my 5yo gets home from school. I curse my phone for not having a mute button. Freaking technology is KILLING me today!!
I get the interview (just barely) and guess what? My little guy woke up with a fever. Awesome. No sitter for us tomorrow. I have heard talk of some mythical husbands who can take off work in these situations, but mine is not one of them. He’s in sales, remember? Looks like I’ll be employing the TV to watch my child while I do my work.
And wait, don’t forget the “mom” part of being a WAHM. I still have to cook dinner (what can I make with frozen spinach, a can of beans, and leftover rice?), do the laundry (the T-ball uniform MUST be ready by 5pm sharp), and buy groceries and medicine and birthday gifts. And clean up the dog puke and the spilled juice. No wiggle room there.
You know how they say God only gives you what you can handle? Dude, your expectations are WAY too high. (Is it sacrilegious to call God “Dude”?) How about giving me an easy assignment, like turning water into wine? I could really use a glass right about now.