Disconnected But Not Discontented

by Abby on July 20, 2012

Unplugged, plug on a pink wallSomething strange is going on. I haven’t been tweeting much lately. My Pinterest boards are gathering virtual dust. I’ve only checked Facebook a few times in the past month. Aside from updating this blog, my internet activity has dropped off drastically. And guess what? The earth is continuing to spin on its axis! I KNOW. I can hardly believe it, either. Just like I am shocked – SHOCKED, I tell you! — that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise split up.

You all know I’m a big fan of social media and blogging. I’ve gradually gotten into texting and finally got a smart phone after every 13yo had had one for years. And I have to say, smart phones certainly make sense when you’re, say, dealing with a health crisis that requires you to Google new medical terms and update a half-dozen family members around the country several times a day. Maybe that’s why I’m burned out on instant communication right now.

I remember more than a decade ago when I was working for an internet company where it was common practice to email someone, instant-message them to tell them to check their inbox, then walk over to their cubicle 5 ft. away if you didn’t receive a response within 3 minutes. How annoying is that? As annoying as people who mark every other email “high priority” when it’s SO not.

Even though I escaped the corporate cubicle farm, I have not freed myself from the electronic tether. The best part about being self-employed is being able to work whenever and wherever. The worst part about being self-employed is being able to work whenever and wherever, even on vacation. As an employee, I had no problem shutting down my computer every evening and not checking email or voicemail until the next morning. Now, it’s a big deal for me to turn off my cell phone before 10pm.

Granted, it’s not all work-related stuff. Maybe the babysitter’s texting me to bring bathing suits for the kids tomorrow. Maybe a friend is checking to see what time we’re going to the gym or if I have so-and-so’s email. Maybe it’s an Evite for a birthday party or Southwest’s low-fare alerts. But I have a hard time ignoring that stuff or putting it off till later. Like it or not, I’m the kind of person who has to deal with something right when I’m thinking about it or I forget. So that’s how I end up researching fall airfares for a trip we might take or shopping online for kids’ birthday presents at 9pm to use a free shipping code before it expires.

It feels like I’m getting things done, being uber-productive, but I have to wonder at what expense. Low-level anxiety is the undercurrent of most of my days lately, even at the pool or park with my kids. It’s sort of ridiculous that we worry about people if they don’t tweet, blog, or update Facebook for a few days. It’s kind of crazy that people feel compelled to announce that they are unplugging for an extended time or taking a blogging vacation. Are we really that important that people are hanging on our every tweet or post? Are my throngs of Twitter followers bereft without my daily quips about toddler temper tantrums and misguided meal plans? Doubtful. For now, for the summer, I’m semi-unplugged and enjoying it.

Do you have a love/hate relationship with social media and technology? Do you consciously “unplug” now and then? What are the repercussions, if any?

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Kris-Ann July 20, 2012 at 8:59 am

I will admit that i’ve been wondering where you’ve been on Twitter, but just assumed you were on vacation. I’m going away for two week soon and there is zero internet or cell phone reception…I can’t wait. I’m anxious for a long two week stretch where I am less distracted and just present.

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Abby July 20, 2012 at 9:07 am

Well, thanks for noticing my absence. 🙂 Enjoy your time unplugged. I find it a relief to sometimes be unreachable. Like you said: less distracted, more present.

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Kory July 20, 2012 at 9:56 am

I’ve felt the same way lately. Given my blog isn’t a “top-read” for many people, but it is what I consider an online diary of sorts for my daughter to look back on as she gets older. This summer has really been GREAT! I think it’s only normal to step back, relax and take time to just LIVE and be HAPPY! If there is anything I have learned while blogging in the very short time that I have, and that is… Just enjoy making memories and don’t worry so much about the next BLOG update! 🙂
Hope you are having an AMAZING Summer making memories! It’s OK to Unplug.

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Abby July 21, 2012 at 6:29 pm

You’re right, Kory. It does seem natural to kick back in the summer. And a big reason I blog, tweet, etc. is because it’s fun, so when it’s not… maybe it’s time to step back for a bit.

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Corey Feldman July 20, 2012 at 11:11 am

I hate the Important on every message thing as well. I semi unplug on Saturdays. I often leave my phone at home for most of the day. But that is about it.

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Malia July 20, 2012 at 2:44 pm

I haven’t been tweeting much either and I’m barely on Pinterest these days. I’m trying to unplug on weekends for the most part, and during the week we’re flying from one activity to the next. When I get a rare moment of downtime, the last thing I want to do is look at a screen. Social media isn’t going anywhere–it will always be there when you’re ready to jump back into the fray! 🙂

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Abby July 21, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Good point. It’s not like you can ever get caught up!

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Lou Mello July 20, 2012 at 4:34 pm

When we went on vacation for 2 weeks in May, I was totally unplugged and it was fine after the first couple of shaky days. 🙂 I have jumped back in, but, in measured terms, and find that I don’t really need to read 25 blogs a day and sometimes I just check a couple quickly. I have taken to only briefly checking a ding, dong, swoosh, or beep in the evening and find that the world does indeed go on quite well without me checking on it. To measured moderation…Cheers!!

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Abby July 21, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Haha! You went through blog withdrawal. I like your “ding, dong, swoosh, beep” approach. 🙂

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Nadine Feldman July 20, 2012 at 6:18 pm

I’ve been taking a break as well. I did announce it to my blog followers, not because I feel “important” but because I’ve developed some relationships with readers and speak to them the same way I speak to friends…but I have needed to unplug to work on other projects and to focus on other areas of life. I’m not sure when I’ll be back, and I’m taking it day by day, week by week.

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Abby July 21, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Yes, I’m the same way with my readers. If I ever did take an extended break from my blog I would announce it.

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Angie Mizzell July 21, 2012 at 9:38 am

I’ve recently gotten comfortable with how much I actually want to engage online (I’ve uploaded lots of photos and interacted on Facebook a lot during our family “staycation”) and I’ve also let go of the need to explain when I take a little hiatus. In my most recent blog posts, I consciously left out any apologies or explanations about where I’ve been. I tell myself “you’re here now. That’s what matters.” This simple shift has been liberating… just letting go of feeling controlled by it.

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Angie Mizzell July 21, 2012 at 9:40 am

explanations… actually “justifications” is a better word. There’s no harm in telling people where I’ve been… but no need to justify my absence.

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Abby July 21, 2012 at 6:31 pm

I like that. No need to justify.

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jetts31 July 22, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I’ve taken a little time away from Twitter at certain times. I think its good. Gives me a chance to say more than 140 characters worth of nonsense. Now I’m saying lots of nonsense!

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Rebecca Einstein Schorr July 22, 2012 at 5:27 pm

I unplug every seventh day…and it is a God-send. I love being able to disconnect without apology. There are weeks, truthfully, that it requires more discipline than others. And there are weeks when I am counting down the minutes until the Jewish Sabbath begins so that I can get off the grid.

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