The Golden Globes: Mommy Awards

Michelle Williams endeared herself to moms everywhere when she said in her Golden Globe acceptance speech last Sunday, “I consider myself a mother first and an actress second, so the person I most want to thank is my daughter, my little girl, whose bravery and exuberance is the example that I take with me in my work and in my life.”

So, her divisive Mia Farrow-inspired hairdo aside, I give Michelle the award for Best Acceptance Speech by a Mom. (Best Acceptance Speech by a Dad goes to Peter Dinklage, who while accepting his award for best supporting actor, mentioned his nervousness about leaving his baby daughter at home with her first babysitter. Best Acceptance Speech Overall goes to Octavia Spencer, who won best supporting actress for her role as Minny in “The Help.” Tears, people.)

As much as I hate to participate in the media’s body-after-baby obsession, there is no denying that new moms Natalie Portman (who gave birth to a son 7 mos. ago) and Jessica Alba (her second daughter is 5 mos. old) looked phenomenal. I’m going to award Jessica the prize for Best Dressed New Mom.

Just remember: it’s their JOB to look good. If you were going to be splashed across screens and magazines the world over, you’d have some extra incentive to hit the Stairmaster and touch up your roots, too. Aren’t you glad no one expects much from us regular, non-famous moms?

If you haven’t had the pleasure of watching live TV while following along on Twitter, I highly recommend it. Do a search for #goldenglobes, for example, and you’ll find everyone who’s talking — er, tweeting — about that event. The reactions are immediate, witty, and all over the place.

The moment Angelina Jolie was spotted on the red carpet, the tweets exploded: “LOVE her dress!” “HATE her dress!” “She looks gorgeous!” “She looks hideous!” No matter what side you’re on, I think we can all agree that Brad’s better half always looks a wee bit…stiff. Imperial. Cold, even. The girl just doesn’t look like she’s having a good time. Or maybe she’s just hungry.

In interviews Angie has said she’s happiest at home with her kids. I get that. But she’s also admitted she doesn’t have any girlfriends. (Though I doubt Jennifer Aniston’s crying into her margarita over that.) So I vote Angie Most in Need of a Mom’s Night Out. I’d hang out with her. She’s well traveled, she’s interesting. I’m sure she’s got stories to tell. I wonder if Brad ever changes the roll of toilet paper at their chateau in France?

And this is what happens when you let your toddler pick out your dress. Sorry, Sarah Michelle Gellar. I know firsthand that tie-dye is hot among the preschool set (my son owns a hideous pink-and-brown-blotched shirt to prove it), but it’s not cutting it on the red carpet. You’re my Worst Dressed Mom. Although, let’s face it: this is coming from a chick who’s been wearing the same faded yoga pants and hoodie for going on 3 days now. I WISH I could look as bad as Buffy!

BRAIN LAPSE O’ THE DAY: When I was working on this post I had the nagging feeling that I’ve written about this topic before. A quick search of the archives on my old blog revealed that, yes, in fact I did. And, look, I mentioned Angelina Jolie even then!