My Apologies

by Abby on March 19, 2012

In response to my last post, reader Sarah shared a link to this piece: “Apologies to the Parents I Judged Four Years Ago.” I think it’s right on the money. It also reminded me of a more tongue-in-cheek (but truthful) riff on the same idea that I wrote a couple years ago:

My Apologies

I'm Sorry photo, via Creative CommonsI think I owe someone an apology. In fact, I think I owe a LOT of someones an apology. I judged. I dismissed. I scoffed, even. And then, as all things do, it came back to bite me in the butt. In the form of two little hellions in footie pajamas. So without further ado…

Mom, you’re first. Let me just say here that I’m sorry. For so many things, but specifically:

1) for giving you a hard time about wearing that purple shirt with the khaki shorts that one time. You were right, they did look just fine, and I’m sure you had better things to do than argue with a kid about fashion;

2) for giving you a hard time about your cooking, to the point where I became a vegetarian rather than have to eat your meatloaf. I had no idea what a pain it was to come up with meals night after night that would please the whole family;

and 3) for the years encompassing ages 12-19.

Next, I’d like to apologize to my dad for leaving my crap all over the house all the time. It really IS frustrating to have to pick up everyone’s stuff day after day. Also, I’m not really sorry for giving you a hard time about forcing us to do chores like rake leaves and wash the car, because I hated doing it. But I admire your delegation skills, and I plan to do the same thing to my own kids when they’re old enough.

To my friends who had kids before me, I’m super-duper sorry. I’m sorry I (silently) judged you for allowing your homes to be overrun with multicolored plastic toys, while smugly telling myself that I would never allow my future children to take over the house like that and besides, they would only play with quiet, wooden, educational toys. (Insert guffaw here.)

In addition, I’m sorry I labeled you “lame” because you stopped going out so much and started going to bed at 9pm. I had no idea how much energy babies and small children require, nor did I have any concept of just how expensive babysitters are.

I’m also sorry I got annoyed by our frequently interrupted phone conversations, often punctuated with loud screaming and crying and other assorted background noises. I know now that you weren’t being rude but rather that to children, the sound of the phone ringing is a signal to see how much they can get away with while Mommy’s distracted.

You all will be happy to know that I’ve realized how ignorant and foolish I was, and I get it now. I really do. And if you want to, you can go ahead and say it: “I told you so.” I deserve it.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

neena March 19, 2012 at 7:24 am

I probably owe some apologies, too.


Nadine Feldman March 19, 2012 at 11:20 am

At age 46 I became a step-mom. For the first time in my adult life, I had children to tend to. It wasn’t long before I apologized to my parents for “everything.” I knew intellectually that parenting was a tough job, but I had no idea.


Malia March 19, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I think instead of an apology, I owe a debt of gratitude to my two younger siblings born during my early teens. Thanks to them, I DID know how messy, loud, selfish, demanding and all-consuming babies and toddlers are, so I wasn’t quick to judge other parents (that didn’t keep me from judging my OWN parents, though). 🙂


Marina March 20, 2012 at 9:29 pm

I just have to share the link to another funny article 🙂


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