Do you ever feel like you’re failing at life? I do. Frequently. Who knew being an adult required so much of you? Not me. Now, maybe it’s the violent stomach bug that’s hit our house hard, but I am struggling here. Eight straight days of mopping up other people’s bodily fluids will do that to you, I guess, but it’s not just that.
It’s the unexpected bills and constant home and car repairs. The deadlines and paperwork. OMG, the paperwork alone will kill you. Medical forms, financial forms, registration forms, jury duty summons, driver’s license renewals, the list goes on and on. And it’s all mandatory.
Yep, the kids and I had a nice long discussion one day about how you can get hauled off to jail if you don’t pay your taxes or show up for jury duty. If it weren’t for being able to buy their own candy and stay up as late as they want, I swear they would think there were no perks at all to being a grownup looking at me.
So, yeah. Failing at life. Failing to stay positive and be a good role model and encourage future good citizens of America. Failing to keep my house clean and my bills paid and my refrigerator stocked with something besides condiments. Failing to RSVP on time and return phone calls and remember important dates and send back that form for that thing at school and write that check for that other thing at that other school. Where IS the checkbook, anyway?
I’ve got nothing left, people. It’s not about filling the well at this point, it’s about digging for any drop I can find in the Sahara. I’ve lost my mojo. Showing no signs of getting my groove back anytime soon. Sorry. I’m tapped. Out. I’ll still be around. I’ll still show up here when if I get a break from the puke and paperwork. The story about the DIY tire swing is not going to tell itself.
But for now, I got nothing. Nothing but a boatload of used Clorox wipes and hands chapped from Purell overload.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Abby, We just started summer vacation here and I’m still feeing run down and burned out from the end of the school year madness. I hope you all feel better very soon–8 days is a long time to be dealing with the yucks. Ugh. Sounds like you need to lobby for a few days off! Hang in there!
Ugh, I’m sorry you are having such a hard time right now. Stomach bugs have a way of wiping out everything in their paths. Hopefully all will be well soon and you can go about the business of business and of enjoying the summer. Sending healthy thoughts!
Yes. I am right there with you right now. I’m sorry. I wish I had the words to make you–and me—feel better right now.
I feel that way pretty much every day. As a bereaved parent, our situations are clearly different. To me you seem like a caring, wonderful mom who is trying her best. And really– that’s all any of us can do right? Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I say get a mani and/or facial and schedule a vacation! Something to look forward to helps me when I’m screaming in the morning about “is anyone listening to me? Put on your shoes!”
I don’t think you’re failing… I think you’re living. And maybe we’ve created the false idea that we are supposed to feel “inspired” through all of this living. When sometimes, the living drains us of everything we have. It’s always temporary, but for me, it hardly ever feels that way.
🙁 Take a blog break. It’s okay. I give you permission. (Because I have so much authority, yanno.)
You guys are the best. Thank you. I’m feeling the love and support across the interwebs. You moms really know how to comfort a gal. 🙂
Hey Abby, glad to know you are doing better! I have a full time office job & things do get overwhelming even when everything is normal. I sometimes think I should just stop reading those parenting articles & tips & tricks on raising kids as they seem to put a lot of pressure on me about how I am supposed to behave as a parent. Well in reality, I am a different person and hence different as a parent too! When nothing seems right, I just remember that my parents or my in-laws never fussed so much about raising me or my husband respectively and we have turned out to be just fine – so ALL IS WELL ! 🙂
Thanks, Vaidehi! I think you’re right about those parenting articles, and parenting advice in general. It IS a lot of pressure because no single human being can meet all those high standards, and somehow we convince ourselves we should. And you’re right, we all turned out just fine!
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