Abby Off the Record — The scoop on life, writing & raising kids

A Bad Night

January 11, 2013

I would hate myself if I saw myself that night. A sniping, shushing shrew, hissing at her kids in Subway to Sit down! Be quiet! Stop doing that! We were causing a scene, and I knew it. Two moms, 5 kids, 6pm. The witching hour. I should have known better than to take them out […]

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Top 5 Diaper Bag Must-Haves

January 9, 2013

You’d think every new mom would know the drill: diapers, wipes, change of clothes… Diaper-Bag Packing 101. Well, I guess I must have missed that class, because first there was the church incident. Then there was the park incident. And the plane incident. And the cigarette-butt incident… oh, who am I kidding? There are WAY […]

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Confidence is Good Hair (for a Day or Two, Anyway)

January 7, 2013

I don’t know too many women who are super-confident about their appearance. I know even fewer moms who are. There’s something about motherhood that forces you to check your ego – and your curling iron – at the door. From the insensitive prenatal nurse who does a double-take at the scale and asks, “HOW much […]

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iPhone Idiot

January 4, 2013

My husband and my dad conspired to give me a new iPhone for Christmas. It’s pretty hard to surprise me, much less get me to agree to a fancy high-tech version of something when last year’s model will do just fine, thanks, but they did and I’m glad. Cutting-edge devices make me feel guilty, if […]

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New Year’s Should Be in the Summer

January 2, 2013

I’m going through a bit of a New Year’s slump. While everyone else is making resolutions and starting diets and workout programs, I’m contemplating crawling back into bed and spending the entire day watching Lifetime movies. I don’t know what my problem is, except that I hate winter. I really do. I enjoy PARTS of […]

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Is Christmas Break Over Yet?

December 31, 2012

I can totally understand why people become alcoholics. I’m just saying. Don’t get me wrong — I had a very nice Christmas with my family, filled with good food, good company, and plenty of togetherness. And now I am ready for everyone to go back to school and work. Too bad for me, Christmas break […]

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Flashback Friday: Comrades Amidst the Chaos

December 28, 2012

While I’m still recovering from the holidays, please enjoy this post from my archives. Funny how this still perfectly portrays my mood, even 3 years later. How’s Christmas break treating you all? Comrades Amidst the Chaos Anyone else in a post-holiday funk, or is it just me? The presents have all been opened, the new […]

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Christmas Crafts and Cookies, Anyone?

December 21, 2012

Christmas brings out my crafty side, it’s true. But this year, I took it to a whole new level. Thanks for that, Pinterest. Really. Before, if there was nothing on TV I might have caught up on my reading or trolled celebrity gossip sites for fun. Or even done something – gasp! – productive, like […]

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Boys and Guns

December 19, 2012

Note: I wrote this a couple days ago and thought about not posting it. Judging by my Twitter and Facebook feeds, it seems like most people have put the Newtown tragedy behind them and are getting back to normal life again. I don’t blame them. But then there was an incident at my son’s school […]

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What Do You Tell Your Kids?

December 17, 2012

When I was growing up, there were certain things my mother refused to discuss with me. Family secrets, grim news, death… whenever something like that would come up, she would abruptly change the subject, saying, “You’re too young to worry about that. Maybe when you’re older.” It always pissed me off, especially as a teenager. […]