Abby Off the Record — The scoop on life, writing & raising kids

An Imaginary Conversation at My High School Reunion

May 7, 2012

My 20th high school reunion is looming. I am not going. Let’s just say I am not a reunion person. The mere thought of milling around making small talk with people I haven’t seen in 20 years who last saw me with unplucked eyebrows, unfortunate bangs, and an ill-fitting uniform kilt gives me hives. High […]

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Dead Animals and Sassy Bloggers Are Literary Gold

May 4, 2012

I read Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: (A Mostly True Memoir), by Jenny Lawson, aka “The Bloggess,” in 4 days, which is remarkable for someone who’s had the same dusty stack of reading material on her bedside table for months and owes the library a small fortune in overdue fines. Basically, I ignored my children […]

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All About the Shoes

May 2, 2012

In the days before I left for college 20-some years ago, I was wracked with anxiety. I wasn’t worried about being homesick. I wasn’t that nervous about whether I’d get along with my roommate. Nor was I concerned about academics or choosing a major. Nope. I was worried about my shoes. See, I had it […]

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2 Pieces of Parenting Advice that Actually Work

April 30, 2012

Right now I have 5 new books and a stack of magazines on my bedside table, waiting to be read. Some of them are parenting books. To date, I have encountered very few practical parenting tips that make a real, noticeable difference in my life. From my archives, here are a couple of those tips. […]

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My Son, the Children’s Book Illustrator

April 27, 2012

Excuse me while I brag for a moment: my 5yo son is an amazing artist. His early work was much like the lumpy Playdoh blobs and smeary finger-paintings of his peers, but in the past year or so his drawings have become incredibly detailed and vibrant. I mean, check out this deep-sea diver: I think […]

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First World Problems

April 25, 2012

If you know me at all, you know I love me some Twitter. I like my social media how I like my exercise classes: fast-paced, simple, and fun. Unlike, say, Facebook, where one of my high school friends recently added me to a 20th reunion group and now I get 50 emails a day from […]

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Stop Trying So Hard

April 23, 2012

My yoga teacher is awesome. A 60-something woman with a hippie sort of vibe, she’s exactly what you’d expect a yoga teacher to be like. She wears ankle bracelets and gauzy wraps, reads us the Tao Te Ching and poetry during savasana, and shares wacky anecdotes like the time she may have gotten secondhand-stoned from […]

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At Home with the Eco-Police

April 20, 2012

FOUR WHOLE DAYS. That’s how long I was cooped up in the house with 2 sick kids this week. Being stuck at home with small children for days on end with no adult contact is a special brand of hell that should be reserved for people who spit out gum on sidewalks and hog handicapped […]

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Work, Worth, and Figuring Out What Really Matters

April 18, 2012

For days now I’ve been stewing over the whole Hilary Rosen/Ann Romney issue, even as I’m elbow-deep in pukey bedsheets. As most of you probably know, liberal pundit Hilary Rosen started a media firestorm last week when she said that Ann Romney, the wife of Mitt Romney and former stay-at-home mom to 5 boys, can’t […]

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I’m On the (Bleeping) Phone!

April 16, 2012

The stomach bug has struck our house. Again. So in lieu of a new post, please accept this one from my archives. Now back to Clorox and laundry… Is This a Good Time? I admit it. Pre-motherhood, I used to get annoyed when I’d call my friends who had kids and the conversation would go […]