Abby Off the Record — The scoop on life, writing & raising kids

Don’t Let Your Pants Ruin Your Day

October 27, 2014

You might not think boys care about their clothes, but you’d be wrong. Mine care about comfort first, coolness factor second. Or rather, comfort first, coolness factor of the T-shirt design second, and fashion forwardness not at all. And don’t you dare call them cute. When my 8yo was a toddler he once said, “Mommy, […]

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Anything Happens All the Time

October 21, 2014

I was heading out the door for my morning walk with the dog when I noticed a nattily dressed older gentleman strolling down the sidewalk. “I didn’t take your parking spot, did I?” he asked with a smile. “I used to live on this street a long time ago. Just came by for a visit.” […]

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Don’t Let This Happen to You

October 17, 2014

Let’s say you have a Halloween decoration — a skull on a stick, so festive! — and your 5yo son pokes his finger through the eye hole just because it’s there and he can. And then his finger gets stuck, so he screams bloody murder until Mom comes running to get him unstuck. She tries […]

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Tiny Tweaks

October 13, 2014

This September marked some changes in our house. Big changes: my youngest child started full-day school for the first time ever. And little changes: I’m getting up earlier to get everyone out the door on time. Before, Riley and I could stay in our PJs till Dad and Miles cleared out, then enjoy a leisurely […]

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Why I Am Celebrating

October 6, 2014

See that photo? That’s a bottle of bubbly I bought myself. (It’s Prosecco, aka “Champagne on a budget.”) I am drinking it out of a glass that was given to me a couple years ago as a present. It’s hand-painted, with rhinestones and a tassel, and it says “Mommy’s Sippy Cup.” I’ve never used it […]

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When Did Crayons Get a Publicist?

September 29, 2014

Do you know the book, The Day the Crayons Quit? If a children’s book could be a celebrity, this one would be Taylor Swift. It’s adorable and it’s everywhere—full-page magazine ads, life-sized cardboard cutouts, it’s even got its own Twitter campaign! (#SavetheCrayons) I’ve been around publishing long enough to know that this is NOT the […]

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Handstands

September 22, 2014

The first thing that happened was the yoga class. “We’re going to do something a little different today,” announced my yoga teacher, 15 min. before the end of class. “Who wants to try a handstand?” Despite the groans and murmurs from the crowd, each woman gamely pulled her mat up next to the wall as […]

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Breathing Room

September 5, 2014

I was emailing a friend recently about how much I’m loving my new schedule now that both kids are in school. Real all-day school, I mean, not that 2.5-hour preschool nonsense that barely gives you enough time to shower and shave both legs. I’ve mentioned that I’ve taken on more writing assignments and work commitments […]

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Back-to-School Humor

August 26, 2014

It’s back-to-school time, and suddenly my inbox is flooded with funny takes from parents who are SO ready to have their little love bugs out of the house all day. And YES, I am one of them! This comic strip my mom sent me pretty much sums up my feelings: Look, I adore my children […]

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Change is in the Air

August 9, 2014

As I sat in the shade of the pavilion enjoying the breeze, I looked out over the wide, grassy expanse where the boys chased bugs and threw sticks and climbed trees and whatever else boys do. This is the part of the summer when we have pretty much done everything there is to do and […]