A Happy Anniversary

by Abby on October 10, 2011

Wedding PhotoEight years ago tomorrow, my husband and I were married on a beautiful fall day in Newport, Rhode Island. As it happens, we were in New England again this weekend, for the wedding of my nephew. I couldn’t help but reflect on how much has changed since we were in those nervous newlyweds’ shiny new shoes.

As you can see in this picture, we posed for wedding photos at a spot overlooking the ocean. “Danger: Keep off rocks,” reads the sign. We did not. Does any married couple? Since then we have weathered plenty of rocks, including job loss, a parent’s cancer diagnosis, and countless other trials and tribulations that go along with daily life, especially one that includes raising small children.

I’m not going to lie: it’s been hard at times. Especially since kids entered the picture. Neither C. nor I could possibly have known what the future held for us. I’m sure if we did, one of us might have hotwired the wedding trolley and skipped town. I’m glad we didn’t, though. Because I could never have imagined what a wonderful life we’d have together, what an amazing dad he’d be, what incredible, adorable, challenging, and loving children we would have.

I’ve decided that I really like the idea of renewing your wedding vows. I’ve got my eye on Hawaii for our 10-year anniversary. The first time around, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, all seem hypothetical. “Yeah, yeah, sounds good. I’m in,” you may be thinking. “Now can we get to the PARTY?” It’s only after you’ve been through some of the “worse,” and realize “till death do us part” is a REALLY LONG TIME that the full impact of the commitment sinks in. For me, anyway.

If I could write my vows now, they would include:

I promise to be good to you, even if we’re in the middle of an 8-hour drive to your parents’ house and you forgot to pack the DVD power cord and the kids are having meltdowns.

I promise to trade off getting up with the baby, even if that means at 1am, 3am, and 5am in the same night.

I promise to let you pursue your passions, even if I don’t understand or share them, like watching televised sports, smartphone addiction, and blogging.

I promise to remember that, even when we’re going through tough times (e.g. job demands, rushing a child to the ER, little-to-no alone time, potty training), to remember that we are on the same team and want what’s best for each other.

I promise to always keep my sense of humor. No one can make me laugh the way you can.

I love you, hon! Happy anniversary! Here we are again, on some different rocks by the sea, with a couple extra little people:

family photo

LINK O’ THE DAY: Here’s another post, by writer Holly Rutchik, about how anniversaries, marriage, and life in general don’t always turn out like we planned.

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

neena October 10, 2011 at 7:32 am

Happy Anniversary to you!!!

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Gill October 10, 2011 at 9:30 am

Just lovely – Happy Anniversary! x

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Mz M October 10, 2011 at 11:41 am

Great post. Happy anniversary 🙂

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Lou Mello October 10, 2011 at 12:25 pm

This is just so nice to read and you are right about how a couple has to grow together and hopefully figure a little bit more of it out as each year passes. Love the idea of the 10th in Hawaii, great place and romantic even with kids with you.

The lovely Miss TK and I will be doing our 25th next May and are doing a Med cruise, 13 days of bliss…and going a hundred miles an hour to get everything in.

The new vows are great, all about doing good for one another and being one another’s best friend.

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Jennifer October 10, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Another October anniversary! Happy anniversary to you and your husband. My husband and I are celebrating our ninth anniversary in about a week, and I hear you about wanting to add in a few extra wedding vows. You and I are at a very similar stage in life, with two boys around the same age, so maybe I’ll just ask if I can steal yours? I promise to give credit where credit is due, natch.

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Angie October 10, 2011 at 2:37 pm

I agree with Lou. I think the biggest thing I’ve realized over the years… is how I forget to be as kind to Shawn as I was when we were dating. Sure, we have a lot more history between us now, but we never stop needing mutual respect.

I love the photos… past and present day. Sometimes it’s good *not* to keep off the rocks.

We’re thinking about renewing at 20 years. We had a one-year-old Blake when we celebrated 10. At 20 years, we’ll have a 14, 11 and 8 year old. Crazy.

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Abby October 10, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Thanks, all! Jennifer, feel free to use my vows. Lou, 25 years is very impressive! I’m sure you’ll enjoy every minute of that cruise. Angie, you guys could be like Heidi Klum & Seal and renew your vows every year – how about that? 😉

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Malia Jacobson October 10, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Happy anniversary! What a beautiful family (and I’m happy to finally see a pic of your hubs, after seeing pics of your cute kids. Nice to see the other half of the genetic equation!) Be sure and hit me up for Hawaii vow renewal advice when the time comes! Getting “re-Maui’d” this summer was completely worth it–crying kids and all! 🙂

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Abby October 11, 2011 at 1:40 pm

thanks, Malia! My hubs is camera-shy, but I’m glad he allowed me to post this pic. Your vow renewal was gorgeous. I can only hope we could pull off something as lovely.

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jetts31 October 13, 2011 at 1:07 am

Some of the greatest wedding vows I have ever read. I would add to mine, ‘I promise not to roll my eyes when you ask me for the 6th time to take out the trash’.
Happy Anniversary.

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Abby October 13, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Don’t even get me started on the trash…

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