If You Give a Mom a Minute

by Abby on June 21, 2013

If you give a mom a minute, she’ll probably unload the dishwasher.

Or throw in a load of laundry, or sweep up the dried Play-Doh crumbs under the table.

When she goes to dump out the dustpan in the bathroom wastebasket, she will notice the wet towels on the floor and waterlogged bath toys in the tub from the night before.

Cleaning up the bathroom, she’ll discover a bottle of shampoo that tipped over and spilled on the floor. Her shampoo. Expensive shampoo.

Cleaning up the shampoo will make her wonder about the last time she took a shower, not to mention shaved her legs. Does she even OWN a razor anymore?

That will make her think about shorts, and how she shouldn’t be wearing any, which will make her wonder if any of her capri pants are clean.

She’ll decide to go do (another) load of laundry.

In the laundry room, she will find that she accidentally washed her brand-new white towels with a red Lightning McQueen sock.

The sock will remind her of her missing-sock bin, which currently holds 37 mate-less socks – wait, now only 36.

While she is matching up socks, someone will come into the room and ask the mom for a snack.

While she is walking towards the kitchen, he will ask for a snack again, and then AGAIN when her hand is in the actual process of opening the snack cabinet.

If you ask a mom 10 times in 10 seconds for a snack, she might say, “Can you please just be patient for once and give me a minute?!”

And if you give a mom a minute, chances are she will squander it on the endless household chores that seem to multiply like bunnies and everyone will end up unhappy anyway.

So how about you give a poor mom an HOUR and see how that goes, hmm, kids?

*Apologies to Laura Numeroff and Felicia Bond

NEWS O’ THE DAY: Today is my birthday and I asked for demanded an entire day free from housework and child-wrangling. Is that even POSSIBLE?! I’ll let you know…

This year’s card from my mom, the best card-sender I know:

Birthday card from my mom

The inside reads: “Birthdays are such fun!”

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Stephanie Mills June 21, 2013 at 9:24 am

Happy birthday!!! Great post!!


Suzanne Persaud June 21, 2013 at 11:47 pm

It’s funny because it is true. Happy birthday. 🙂


Melinda June 22, 2013 at 8:48 pm

Love it! Happy birthday!


Angie Mizzell June 23, 2013 at 5:02 am

This is so good, so much better than “If you give a pig a pancake”. 🙂

Not the expensive shampoo! And why do the requests continue when you are opening the snack cabinet??


Kathy at kissing the frog June 23, 2013 at 11:52 am

This was awesome Abby! Hope you had a happy birthday and got the day off that you wanted!


emc June 24, 2013 at 3:23 pm

Once again, you managed to make me laugh and “get me”, right where I am with my boys. I wrote something similar and emailed it to my husband, but titled it “If you give a mom a dust rag…”


Abby June 25, 2013 at 10:35 pm

I’d like to read that one! We could come up with infinite versions…


Abby June 25, 2013 at 10:35 pm

Thanks, guys! I had a great birthday. 🙂


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