How The Nutcracker Makes Me Feel Better About Holidays with Kids

by Abby on December 5, 2016

Fritz could be my kid! I was thrilled to have this realization during one of my many, many viewings of The Nutcracker. I love The Nutcracker—the music, the dancing, the costumes. I am lucky enough to have seen it performed professionally several times.

My dad took me to see it as a kid and even in college. I made my husband take me when I was pregnant with our first child, and I forced my sons to go with me once they were old enough. This is actually not as hard a sell for boys as you might imagine. After all, there are swordfights and a Mouse King and all sorts of acrobatic dancing.

Most people picture graceful ballerinas and Sugar Plum Fairies when they think of The Nutcracker, but the story is actually not all so sweet. If you recall, the Nutcracker in the title is the gift given to young Clara by her beloved godfather on Christmas Eve. Her brother Fritz gets jealous, grabs the Nutcracker from Clara, and breaks it. That’s totally something my kids would do!

Nutcracker, missing an arm and his hat

A big part of my holiday stress since becoming a parent is due to the expectations involved in celebrating Christmas. There are my children’s outrageous gift lists, filled with live animals (hedgehogs, hamsters), loud musical instruments (a drum set, a ukelele), and every other page of the Lego catalog. Then there’s the jockeying of the relatives, all of them intent on getting equal time with my children. And there are the endless invitations and obligations, all of which seem to cost money and time I don’t have.

But mostly my stress is caused by this ridiculous notion that kids are supposed to be good and patient and grateful at all times in the midst of this melee—while all jacked up on sugar and up way past their bedtimes. The naughty/nice list is too much pressure on an energetic little boy with no concept of time or delayed gratification. Anyone who playfully warns, “Santa’s watching…” while wagging a finger at a kid having a hissy fit should be choked with a string of twinkle lights.

People who picture the holidays filled with cherubs in footy pajamas sweetly clutching teddy bears while visions of sugar plums dance in their heads need to come to my house in December. It’s all broken ornaments, tantrums, and time-outs around here. I am seriously considering having “Kids are why we can’t have nice things” stitched on a throw pillow.

But The Nutcracker reminds me that this is normal. Kids are sometimes often cranky and tired during the holidays. Sometimes they are unhappy with their gifts. No matter how much you coach them to force a smile and thank Aunt Betty for the hand-knitted wool socks, kids don’t have good poker faces. They might frown and pout when they get a lame gift. And let’s be honest: plenty of adults do too. Some of us just have better poker faces.

At Christmastime, I try to keep my expectations low and my décor replaceable. I may never have a Nutcracker to pass down to my grandchildren as a family heirloom, mostly because my own kids will have destroyed it first. But Nutcrackers make bad gifts for kids, anyway. You’re better off picking something out of the Lego catalog. May I recommend page 32?

{This post is part of the #Reverb16 writing challenge I am participating in this month, in response to the Day 5 prompt: What do you hate about the holidays? You can find out more about Reverb and how to participate here.}

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Stephanie Mills December 6, 2016 at 7:51 am



Lou Mello December 6, 2016 at 8:57 am

This brings back a few memories of life when my only child, a daughter, was much younger. Her Mother was an only daughter so gifts were plied high and going to the Nutcracker was an annual event. Expectations were alway high, but, she was a good kid and rarely a problem. I just try now to enjoy the season and my wife and I rarely exchange gifts at Christmas, we get things throughout the year and enjoy the season with lots of decorations, Christmas music and food.


Abby December 6, 2016 at 2:55 pm

Love that, Lou. If I could get away with skipping the gifts and just focusing on the decorations, music, and food, I totally would!


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